I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
