Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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