I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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