just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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