Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
