Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
