I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
kristin has been a bad kristin
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
