South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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