Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
