i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
