Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
