just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
