Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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