and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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