At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
