not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Less talking, more tequila
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize