I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
