you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I wear drunk well.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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