Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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