I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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