You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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