why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
