ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Less talking, more tequila
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
