wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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