you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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