East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
