I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
