Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
