Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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