everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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