we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
