I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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