i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
