We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I wish there were birth control emojis
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
