I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize