What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize