pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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