then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize