Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
