Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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