I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Operation Purity has been aborted
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
