We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
