Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
