How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
