You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
