i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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