This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do you have feelings for this penis?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
