It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
