You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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