so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
