Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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