i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
