I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
