Please don't use social media to get back at me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
