3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
