WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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