Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
