I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
