doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
zippers are such a cool invention
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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